Didn't Thought

So many things been bothering me recently. . .
Wanted to open it up to lighten up the load. . .
But when i did open it to someone. . . he doesn't seem to be interested. . . he didn't even let me finish. . .
Thought of opening it up to someone else. . . sadly it seems that there are no someone else. . .
Didn't thought it would hurt so bad. . .
Wanting to open something up. . .
But no one seems to be there to hear u out. . .

Damned Me

been looking up to others all my life. . .
looking at myself like a crap hole. . .
wishing to be saved by those i look up to. . .
but hell, they don't even know who i exist. . .

guess i'm dreamin every single day of my life. . .
hope this dream turns into a reality. . .
or hope that i realize and accept that it will be a constant fantasy. . .

hah! hope i just forget to dream again. . .
and feel so empty. . .
like i how used to be before. . .
as empty as the universe. . .
so vast. . . and no one knows what u are. . .

though i feel like the universe now. . .
no one knows who i am. . .
i hope that someone has. . .
i hope that someone does. . .
i hope that someone will. . .

never thought it will be a sad hell when no one knows. . .
to whom your efforts are. . .
the value of the things you do. . .
mostly. . . they don't know who you are. . .

'no one' deserves to be this sad. ..
damn me. . . i'm a 'no one'. . .

just hope i can trust someone my thoughts to. . my life to. . .
lastly. . . my heart to. .
though it is stone cold or is in a million pieces. . .

damn how i pity myself. . .

logging off. . . M•M

Missing Out

Going to add some stuffs. . .
Meaning. . .
I have to remove some as well. . .
Idk, if this is the right choice. . .
Idk, if there IS a right choice. . .
All i know is, this MY choice. . .
Hope i get this right. . .
Hope i don't falter. . .
Hope i won't regret this. . .

There are tons of stuffs running in my head. . .
There are tons of stuffs that shouldn't be running in my head. . .
Perhaps this is simply. . . me. . .
I look to much to others. . .
I like that part of me. . .
And hate it as well. . .
I seek attention. . .
Also isolation. . .
Haha, these thoughts in my head are so freakin s2pid. . .
Haha, same as me. . .so s2pid. . .
Perhaps. . . this s2pidity will fade if. . .
Idk what. . . sighs. . .
Going out, tryin. . .

M•M
signing off :((

Linking Unlinkables

I'm in a crowd right now where they have their own tune, their own rhythm...

while i just try to follow theirs... and turns out a failure...

yet i hang out with them... mostly watching them...

trying to blend in with them... still trying...

I don't know why i'm doing this though...

probably because i enjoy it even i'm just some audience...

probably because i envy them...

probably because i let my stupidity get the best of me...

I've been in all sorts of crowds...

all ends up the same...

all lets me smile...

but all lets me feel crappy in the end...

-M•M

Quare

Is it alright to be not who i used to be?
'People change' but there's also 'People got changed'

Said it was for the better of me. . .
Said my previous actions were too misunderstood. . .
Said my previous actions gives off feeling of affection. . .
Said my previous actions were too much for a flirt. . .

But don't my actions shows me of who i am?
Though my actions shows such for thy. . .
None of them is true. . .
It's simply just who i am. . .

Now and then, i feel kinda down when i hold myself from doing stuffs i used to do. . .
From an energetic welcome to a simple wave. . .
From a long conversation to a simple smile and 'ah ok'. . .
From a meaningless "akbay" to a meter gap. . .

Lolz. . .
It's like i'm avoiding everyone around me now. . .
From what i used to do. . .
All i really show now is my smile. . .
My smile of avoidance. . .
My smile of enclosure. . .
My smile of solitary. . .

~Sighs~
Quare - (latin for 'Why' as of from what i search in the net)
-M•M

Crappy picture

Sorry, just want to put a photo ASAP. . . having technical problems with my m2 memory card reader. . . plannin' to buy a memory card reader ASAP and update the photo. . . photo's cool though, it's an ambigram. . . you can all grab it and try it if u want.

Thanks for allowing me to be here. . .

1st touch

Welcoming myself to the bloggers world...

hello there! wish i can blog everything here.. hahaha!!!